Helloooo! Long time, no...see? Read? I don't know. Either way, its been awhile!
Sooo, let me tell you all a little story about the husband who took his wife bow hunting.
Let me begin with telling you that I have had this stupid cold for like 3-4 weeks now. It is the whole nine yards; sniffling, snotty nose, sneezing, coughing up a lung, etc. Now, for someone going to school for nursing, one would think that I would take better care of myself and always be prepared. WRONG. I never take my medicine. I get at least two sinus infections a year, and I think I've only finished one Z-pack of the 582 that have been prescribed to me. I never remember to bring kleenex with me so I always blow my nose on napkins, causing my nose to be chapped. I never drink enough water, and shocker...I hate going to the doctor. ANYWAYS: Remember this stupid cold, it is relevant to the future events that I'm about to tell you about.
So my mom called earlier last week asking if she could take the little for the weekend.
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
JUST KIDDING!!! Take him! You only want him from Friday through Sunday?? Are you sure?? You're sure you don't want to call in sick for the following week and just keep him for awhile??
She didn't take the bait...but at least she took him for a few days. This mama was going to have a WHOLE weekend alone with her husband!! WOOOHOOO!! Sleep!! No bed times!! No dressing kids in the morning!! OH MY LANTA! I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN FOR THREE WHOLE DAYS!!
The plan was to leave on Friday at noon. That didn't pan out because the husband wanted to go bow hunting since we would be on that side of Wyoming, just south of the border, to meet Grandma T and boot the kid out with her. We finally left on Friday at about 3:30. We met Grandma T later that evening, and didn't stand a chance at making it to where we would be hunting at before dark. However, for some reason unknown, we were in a hurry anyways.
Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love hunting. I love hunting with a rifle. I have never been bow hunting in my entire life. The idea of walking 932,584 miles a day carrying a crossbow over my shoulder didn't sound very appealing to me, especially with my back being the way it is. However, I was excited anyways...and we loaded up the four wheeler, so I didn't do nearly as much walking as I thought I would have to do. Also, my husband has me spoiled rotten. We have a gigantic 5th wheel camper with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, and a dining room. WE DIDN'T TAKE IT. Come on, man. That fool made me sleep in the pickup. No sleeping comando if I wanted to, no stretching my legs out, no sheets, no nothin'! I was not made for this. The Lord did not intend for me to sleep in a truck after blessing us with a perfectly good 5th wheel. I hate to sound like a princess, but come on!
Alright, so we get back into Wyoming as it is getting dark, which means no more hunting. We decided to drive around for awhile and see if we could spot some elk, just so we would have a general idea of where to be in the morning when we headed out on the four wheeler. We drove around until about 3:30 in the morning...no elk in sight. We parked the pickup for the night, talked for awhile, then went to sleep.
The next morning...well, about 2 hours later...I'm wide awake and ready to get rolling. I wanted to shoot an elk with a bow...in a bad, bad way. So, I finally get the husband awake with a lot of smooth and sweet talking (you never know how he will be in the morning...sometimes he is the sweetest, most cuddly, loving man in the whole world...and sometimes its like playing with a loaded gun with the safety off). We take off for a quick spin in the pickup to see if we can spot any elk. We stopped at a lookout point and got out. The husband got out his little elk call thingies (reeds, maybe? IDK) and he starts bugling. This may be the coolest thing I have ever seen. It is incredible to watch him call elk. He is so stinking good at it. It blows my mind. Anyways, he lets out this HUGE bugle and we have elk bugling back to us. Whaaaaat!! SWEET!! So we go to the next pull off road, get out, and start walking quickly but QUIETLY. Every single time I took a step, he would look back at me with the evil eye (the same one I get from the little in the rear view mirror in the mornings). Apparently I'm club footed, I swing my arms to much, and I shouldn't breathe so often. Uhh, okay, I'll work on it? What do you want me to do, fool? Float? My baaaad. So he gets me to this spot, hands me the bow, and tells me in a whisper so faint I could hardly hear him to "Sit down and DON'T MOVE."
Now, I'm sitting here, feeling like a kindergartener that got put in timeout for writing the word 'shit' on a coloring page, and my nose starts running. Seriously?! Okay. Plan of attack: inhale a liiiittle bit deeper through the nose holes and hope it sucks the snot back into my face. Didn't work, and it made me want to cough. Crap. Okay. Plan B: slowly raise the left arm, reach in pocket, grab kleenex, extend arm to face, wipe nose, but don't blow it. Oh yeah, that's right, I DON'T EVER HAVE KLEENEX. CRAP! Okay. Plan C: Let nose run, wait for husband to return to me and tell me that I am out of timeout or an elk to come walking up so I can shoot it then run to the pickup and grab a napkin to blow my snotty nose. So, I sat there indian style for what seemed like an hour waiting for the husband to come back. He finally shows up and I tell him the situation I was in. He looked at me as serious as could be and told me, "Don't EVER blow your nose when we are bow hunting. EVER." He's so serious about this shit. I find it hilarious. What I find even more funny is that when the kids' noses are runny, he can't STAND it. The man physically cannot HANDLE snot. Like it literally makes him gag. Yet, here he is telling me that basically if I blow my nose or sniffle when we are bow hunting that he will divorce me. HA! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Just kidding :)
So anyways, we spent Friday through Sunday up in the mountains hunting vigorously, and didn't shoot a damn thing. I almost had a chance to shoot a nice buck deer, but he got spooked before I got a clear shot at him. Then, I had a chance to shoot a doe with two fawns, but I just have an issue with shooting a mama with a baby by her side. I'm no tree hugger, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it with her children watching me with those little innocent baby eyes. We also only saw one elk the whole time, but it was a cow and she was way to far off to shoot with a bow. I'm in my trophy hunting phase right now...I want big, fat antlers to hang on the wall. The hubs had bulls bugling at us constantly, which was AWESOME. This is how good he is at bugling with his little elk call thingies that he puts in his mouth to call with. He called in a whole herd of......pause for dramatic effect......hunters. We were up on a hill out of sight and he was bugling and called in a bunch of hunters. I'm sure those dudes thought they just found the biggest, meanest, gnarliest bull up there. Nope, its just my husband over here being a badass ;)
We had an awesome time up there. It is seriously never a dull moment with him. I suppose that has a lot to do with why I married the fool to begin with. He always has me laughing. I definitely needed this weekend alone with him. We both had a kid of our own when we met, so we didn't do a whole lot of the dating thing, even though we were together over two years before we got married. It just felt like we skipped right to being an old married couple. This weekend meant the world to us to be able to go out on our own and just have fun without having to worry about the munchkins...just as long as I didn't sneeze, or burp, or fart, or sniffle, or cough in the process :)
I'll try to be more faithful and consistent for all of you! Talk to y'all again very soon!
XOXO,
Wyoming Wife
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